Sad News

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Will you be attending?

Poll ended at 24 Aug 2017, 09:23

Not sure
Total votes: 13

The Ministry
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Re: Sad News

Post by DaveB »

Hello Chaps,

Apologies for my distinct absence on here, having promised I would irritate you all with painfully obvious questions about planes...

Thank you to those who attended my Dad's funeral. He would have been so humbled by the amount of people who came, not to mention utterly embarrassed at being the centre of attention. Also, apologies to Dave Maltby for saying you looked old.. The grey beard really suits you.. honest!! :-#

Whomever took the pictures of the flowers would you please send them to me? In my determination not to fall to pieces I forgot to do obvious stuff like take pictures of the perishables... email:

Having spoken to Ben- I thought you might want to have a read of the eulogy I wrote. Thankfully I didn't cry... or swear (that was the only criteria for the day ;) ) I am REALLY SORRY: I have just pasted this into the text box and I have realised it is longer than the Dead Sea Scrolls :( :help:

I would like to start with a poem, to hopefully distract myself from the fact you are all looking at me!...

The Measure of a Man
Not – How did he die? But – How did he live?
Not – What did he gain? But – What did he give?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not – What was his station? But – Had he a heart?
And – How did he play his God-given part?
Was he ever ready with a word of good cheer?
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not – What was his church? Not – What was his creed?
But – Had he befriended those really in need?
Not – What did the sketch in the newspaper say?
But – How many were sorry when he passed away?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

For those of you who may not recognise me, I am Helen, David’s daughter. Although I am very much his mini-me I thankfully do not have the beard. I am humbled and proud to see so many people here for my Dad. I can only speak for myself, but when I think of how he touched my life, the first word that comes to mind is admiration.

I could stand here and list all the ways I admire him, but we are on a time limit and I do not want to be escorted from the microphone. I will tell you just a few of the reasons instead; first of all, his love and commitment to my Mom. Not just the obligatory marital commitment, but the commitment to her happiness. If things were important to her they became important to him (with the exception of ABBA. He drew the line at that.).They were happily married for almost 30 years- his adoration for my mother became the measuring stick for what I wanted for myself, and for my daughter in years to come.

I also admire him because of the kind of father he was. He loved his children and grandchildren very much. But he instilled in me the core values that defined who he was. And that was a man who kept his promises, honoured commitment, and had an inspirational work ethic. If something needed doing, it was going to be done properly. This didn’t necessarily mean ‘Read the instructions that came with the toy kitchen for Helen’, but it did mean making the effort to be patient, learn and expand his knowledge- then sharing his wisdom with me.. At the tender age of four I was given a Power Supply Unit and a screwdriver and allowed to tinker to my heart’s content while he “Played” with his computer.

Thankfully my Dad’s taste in music rubbed off on me more than my Moms (please don’t make me watch Mamma Mia again!). This love of music became common ground during my teenage years. We would sit together, him playing his guitar and me pretending to play mine along to Eric Clapton and Fleetwood Mac. One of the most special things about my dad was his way with words, not just the rib-breaking one-liners but the measured words of wisdom. His advice was always considered and thoughtful. At the time I often felt it was blunt, but as I grew older his silence became my saving grace. There was never any judgement from my dad, he would tilt his head to one side and listen intently as I confided in him. Having spoken to some of his friends, I have learnt that his considered counsel has helped many people through some of their darkest times. And I have never been prouder of him.

Some of my fondest memories are from our family holidays to various parts of the country staying in caravans. We caused mom so much grief when we went to Tesco to do the initial stocking up of the fridge- adding as much as we could to the trolley without her noticing… namely jammy dodgers. She did get her own back though, one year packing what seemed to be all of our worldly possessions in the car for a 2 week holiday it meant that there was no room for Dad in the car. He rode down to Cornwall on the motorbike and met us there.

My admiration for my Dad has only grown as I have gotten older. I noticed the little things he did for my mom and I, as well as all of us here. The things he wasn’t asked to do and didn’t expect open praise for. If he was ever out and saw a little chocolate or magazine that he thought I’d like, he would just buy it and leave it in my room for when I got home. As soon as he saw me pull onto the drive he would come outside to my car door and say “Hello Toots” while giving me a big cuddle. These are the things that made him irreplaceable.
The name David is derived from Hebrew meaning ‘beloved’, and that is exactly what he is.
Ever present, often unseen, but always loved.

Hope you are all doing well, I have found burying my head in the sand to be an effective method of coping. Apparently that isn't what you're supposed to do but surely its better than the other method of dealing with grief? :guinn: . Thank you all for your kind words, it is nice to get to know the people that knew him, even if it is virtual (I have only met 6/7 of you in person so the rest of you may be AI!!) I have found it a way of still being with him? I understand many of you have found that flying without him around has become empty, but please continue this. He worked so hard contributing to the forum and the FS world and would be utterly devastated to think that it was ending because of anything other than WWIII. And even then I'm pretty sure he would've found a way to get onto the forum!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I miss my Daddy more than words can say and I hope that you all know he will always be a part CBFS.


Old sailors never die.. they just smell that way!
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Re: Sad News

Post by ChrisHunt »

That was lovely Helen. That's the kind of eulogy I hope to earn (assuming I live long enough). But one thing troubles me... what's wrong with ABBA?? :poke: Although god save us all from that dreadful Mama Mia film thing!
Battle of Britain
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Re: Sad News

Post by Tomliner »

Hi Helen, that was beautiful. Dare I venture to say that to fully appreciate it one would need to be the father of a daughter( like me surprise surprise) . There is a special magic in that relationship between father and daughter and your words encapsulate it beautifully. Dave would be so proud of you. I expect that your mum may shed a few tears when she reads it.
I hope that time will eventually ease the pain of your loss. Best wishes EricT :)
Now at the age where I know I like girls but can't remember why!
The Gurus
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Re: Sad News

Post by DaveG »

Hi Helen, :hello:

Thank you for posting that. I'm not ashamed to admit I shed a few tears when I heard you read that at the service, and it brought tears again when I read it just now.
I hope you and your mum are doing OK at this very difficult time.

Take care, and ATB.
Dave G.
Nigel H-J
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Re: Sad News

Post by Nigel H-J »

Helen, thank you so very much for posting that very emotional eulogy, the sense of humour in your writing (even though it must have been hard) shows that you can raise above your grief but only when you are ready. I lost my mother and sister within six months of each other 2 years ago but I can tell you that over time the pain of losing a loved one does ease.

I wish you and your mother all the very best.

I used to be an optimist but with age I am now a grumpy old pessimist.
Chris Trott
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Re: Sad News

Post by Chris Trott »


Thank you for posting that. I am sure that this is an extremely trying time for you and your mother and your strength in posting on here in the days since his passing is a great showing of it. I hope that as time goes on you get to meet more of his friends here and elsewhere either in person or over the internet because we are all better people for knowing him.
Paul K
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Re: Sad News

Post by Paul K »

Helen, that is a fine tribute to your dad. These past few weeks must have been unbearably sad for you, your mum and your daughter. All of you are in our thoughts, as are the memories of your dad, who still seems to be here in some way. You miss him, and we miss him, and the world is a poorer place for his passing. God bless.
Pip Pip ! :)
Red Arrows
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Re: Sad News

Post by FlyTexas »

Thank you so much for your post, Helen. :) It was beautiful. ((hugs)) Yes, there's definitely a void here because of your Dad's absence. :( But normalcy (if you can call it that :lol: ) will eventually return to CBFS. I guess we're all just trying to find our own way of coping with your/our loss...if that makes sense. All my best to you and your Mom. Your Dad was something else, and I miss him very, very, much. :(

Red Arrows
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Re: Sad News

Post by Airspeed »

Hello Helen,
Thanks from me, too for your presence and openness here.
Very much appreciated reading your words.
From another father of an only-child Daughter.
The Ministry
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Joined: 17 Jun 2004, 20:46
Location: Pelsall, West Mids, UK

Re: Sad News

Post by DaveB »

Chris Hunt- ABBA is fine ... as long as I don't have to listen to it. Coupled with my mom's "Singing" :lol:

I'd much rather listen to Eric Clapton. As do my 2 babies- I show Emily videos on YouTube and she says "Look it's grandad!" They do look alike and play in the same style so its a compliment in all its forms. My 1yo Samuel just bobs his head along to the beat and occasionally bursts into applause. . . My dad's influence is plain to see, Emily looks into the sky and shouts "Look Mommy, aeroplane!" or when my OH Pete is playing PS4 and she see's anything flying she says "That's like grandads!". My son, unfortunately isn't really old enough to have any 'real' memories, but does have a fondness for beards. And a pipe!!

Airspeed- there is no love on Earth like a daughter for her daddy. You are one lucky man!

I am so proud of my Daddy, and I am so thankful to you all.

ATB, LittleDaveB


P.S. Tried to attach images of my little man with a rather large pipe but I don't know what I'm doing!!!
(81.03 KiB) Downloaded 1484 times
(67.5 KiB) Downloaded 1484 times
Old sailors never die.. they just smell that way!
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