When you’re seventy five...who cares?

[FlyTexas]

I was standing at the bar at the Cruise Terminal one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches, but...
When you’re seventy five...who cares?

I was talking to a young woman in the Cruise Terminal last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re seventy five...who cares?

I was telling a woman at Jericho Tennis Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you’re seventy five...who cares?

I went to our bar at the Cruise Terminal last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re seventy five...who cares?

Brian

[Airspeed]

I should get out more! Sounds like fun!

[Nigel H-J]

[Filonian]

Reminds me of the time in Filey the other week.

Crossed the main drag at a crossing to find a large - nay huge woman blocking my way on to the pavement at the other side. Just stood there glaring at me so I said, "i'm not going to walk round you - it's too far.

No physical attack, but boy, I sure learned a few more words.


Graham

[DaveB]

Works for me
ATB
DaveB

[Paul K]

[airboatr]

You know, Brian...There are other ways to meet nurses.

[nigelb]

Something to look forward to in five years time.

Nigel²