WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

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GHD
Concorde
Concorde
Posts: 1335
Joined: 17 Sep 2004, 14:04
Location: Harton Village, UK

WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

Post by GHD » 22 Sep 2017, 10:53

A lexophile, of course!


• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last
George

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dodger
Concorde
Concorde
Posts: 1518
Joined: 22 Nov 2010, 00:38
Location: Devon UK

Re: WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

Post by dodger » 22 Sep 2017, 11:03

:lol: :lol:

Some good ones there.

Roger.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

DogTailRed2
VC10
VC10
Posts: 558
Joined: 24 May 2008, 07:52

Re: WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

Post by DogTailRed2 » 22 Sep 2017, 13:31

Does this count?
A Firework, a Battery and a Bundle of Straw walked into a Police Station.
The Straw was bailed, the Battery was charged and the Firework was let off!

Airspeed
Red Arrows
Red Arrows
Posts: 5883
Joined: 14 Sep 2011, 03:46
Location: Central Victorian Goldfields, Australia
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Re: WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

Post by Airspeed » 22 Sep 2017, 14:25

:lol: :lol: :lol:

But, like the man in the echo chamber, I've heard it all before. :(

Nigel H-J
Red Arrows
Red Arrows
Posts: 6150
Joined: 14 May 2005, 15:33
Location: Lincolnshire

Re: WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

Post by Nigel H-J » 22 Sep 2017, 15:25

:lol: :lol:
I used to be an optimist but with age I am now a grumpy old pessimist.

nigelb
Battle of Britain
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Posts: 4176
Joined: 11 Apr 2005, 17:19
Location: Herndon, Virginia, USA

Re: WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

Post by nigelb » 23 Sep 2017, 02:27

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Enjoyed those. I bet Gary could have added many more.

Nigel²

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