PAM AYRES - POEM ON THE CORONAVIRUS

[GHD]

I’m normally a social girl

I love to meet my mates

But lately with the virus here we can’t go out the gates.

You see, we are the ‘oldies’ now

We need to stay inside

If they haven’t seen us for a while

They’ll think we’ve upped and died.

They’ll never know the things we did

Before we got this old

There wasn’t any FaceBook

So not everything was told.

We may seem sweet old ladies

Who would never be uncouth,

But we grew up in the 60s –

If you only knew the truth!

There was sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll

The pill and miniskirts

We smoked, we drank, we partied

And were quite outrageous flirts.

Then we settled down, got married

And turned into someone’s mum,

Somebody’s wife, then nana,

Who on earth did we become?

We didn’t mind the change of pace

Because our lives were full

But to bury us before we’re dead

Is like red rag to a bull!

So here you find me stuck inside

For 4 weeks, maybe more

I finally found myself again

Then I had to close the door!

It didn’t really bother me

I’d while away the hour

I’d bake for all the family

But I’ve got no flaming flour!

Now Netflix is just wonderful

I like a gutsy thriller

I’m swooning over Idris

Or some random sexy killer.

At least I’ve got a stash of booze

For when I’m being idle

There’s wine and whisky, even gin

If I’m feeling suicidal!

So, let’s all drink to lockdown

To recovery and health

And hope this awful virus

Doesn’t decimate our wealth.

We’ll all get through the crisis

And be back to join our mates

Just hoping I’m not far too wide


To fit through the flaming gates!

[Dev One]

Just what I needed.. a good larf
Keith

[Airspeed]

What a hit that woman is/was!
Got one of her books somewhere "All Pam's Poems" I think it's called.

[Tako_Kichi]

I've liked Pam from her very early days, she always finds a way to make any situation funny. Her radio show 'Ayres on the Air' was always fun to listen to and is regularly repeated on R4Extra via the interwebs.

[Vancouver]

I remember her on Opportunity Knocks with Hughie Green compering. Don't remember if she actually won though (brain fade). Shows like that would never get aired these days. Oh innocent times. That show spawned many wonderful acts, most notably Les Dawson. Marvellous.

[Tomliner]

Brilliant this woman can make quite mundane everyday situations hilarious as in this clip from one of her shows. However I don’t expect that the following applies to any of us here. EricT


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4oydSZTAns

[Filonian]

Many thanks George, cheered up a miserable damp Saturday


Graham