On Scotsmen ....

[Filonian]

A Scotsman gets a cab to take him and his girlfriend home.
She is so beautiful, he can barely keep his eyes on the metre.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub and buy beers.
Just as they raise the drinks to lips, three flies land in each of their pints.
The Englishman pushes his beer away in disgust.
The Iriamn fishes the fly out of his beer and carries on drinking.
The Scotsman picks the fly out of his drink and starts shaking it.
"Spit it oot, ye thieving wee bas£$%d, spit it oot"

What's the differenece betwee a Scotsman and a coconut?
You can get a drink out of a coconut.

What's the differenece between a Scotsman and a canoe?
A canoe tips occasionally.

Two Scotsmen, Jimmy and Willie go to an expensive restaurant.
When they've finished a heary meal, they call the waiter over to get the bill.
Willie says, "Don't worry about the bill, I'm paying for everything."
The next day, Jimmy is found dead in an alley.
The newspaper headline reads, 'Horrible murder of Scottish ventriloquist.'

A taxi was involved in an accident in Glasgoe.
Sixteen passengers were treated for injuries.



Graham

[Airspeed]

Oh, Graham, how are you, chuckles?

[GHD]

They are so cuel

[Paul K]

This - from the man with Yorkshire PayPal ?

[Nigel H-J]

[emfrat]

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman went into a pub, and the barmaid said "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

MikeW

[airboatr]

Sometimes it's not what they're saying. It's how they say it.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uMdAcYVXR1U