Dad at the Mall...
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a
teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange,
and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him
staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter
old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his
Response, (he always has a good one), and in classic style he did not
bat an eye in his response.
'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you
were my son.'
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had passed away, Jenny rushed to her grandmother's side. When she asked the particulars of her grandfather's death, her grandmother explained, "He had a heart attack during sex on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Jenny suggested sex at age 94 was surely asking for trouble. "Oh, no," her grandmother replied, "We had sex every Sunday morning, in time with the church bells - in with the dings and out with the dongs."
She paused and wiped away a tear. "If it hadn't been for that ice cream truck going past, he'd still be alive."
Two More Blondes
Two blondes were filling up their cars at a gas station. The
first blonde says to the second, "I bet these awful gas prices
are going to go even higher."
The second blonde replies, "Won't affect me; I always put
in just $20 worth!"
Oddments
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