Coming fast along the rails

[AllanL]

SWMBO passed me this lot:

Here they come... how do they do it so quickly? (Home early because of the snow?)


* I've tried Sainsbury's and Tesco burgers and I have to say Tesco wins by a nose....

* Never having another one of those Tesco burgers. Gave me the trots.

* I think I had Tesco Horseburger last night by mistake. Never again. Had terrible night mares...

* Stop Press: Traces of zebra found in Tesco barcodes!

* I bet Tesco hate being saddled with this story. Their PR agency must be bridling too. They'll just have to get the bit between their teeth.

* The police are doing door-to-door enquiries about these horse-burgers. They will soon have covered the whole Neigh-bourhood.

* I see absolutely no problem with horsemeat, which is why my mane is so glossy and I'm running in the 3:10 at Kempton.....

* I expect this only relates to those mini-burgers you have as snacks. You know, the horse d'oeuvres...

* After having Tesco burgers I used to say that I felt a little horse, now I understand why...

* Gotta admit tho', when disease inevitably hits - 'Crazy Horse' sounds way cooler than 'Mad Cow'...

* So hungry I could eat a horse... Guess I'll go to TESCO....

* A woman has been taken to hospital after eating horsemeatburgers. Her condition is said to be stable.

* Are you in favour of Horsemeat in your burgers? Yay or Neigh?

* Horsemeat has been found in Tesco products but a spokesman says it's bollocks.

* Those Aldi horseburgers were nice, but I prefer My Lidl Pony...

* Scientist: "Sir, we've discovered horsemeat in your burgers." Tesco boss: "Why the long face?"

* There was an old woman who swallowed a horse, she'd been to Tesco, of course...

* Good thing about these horse puns is it's stopped all the sick Jimmy Saddle jokes...

[Garry Russell]

I wonder hoof-'ought these up

[steelsporran]

Didn't take long did they

[Airspeed]

Sharp wits abound!
This is the first I've heard of the story.

I wonder hoof-'ought these up

That's up there with the others, Garry, top marks!

[speedbird591]

I've just been to the fridge to check my burgers. Aaaaaaand they're off!

Horse meat found in Tesco burgers. Camel toe found in Primark leggings.

Despite the recent news, Tesco claim that their burger sales remain stable.

Tesco are doing a clubcard points promotion on petrol, diesel and burgers. Only fuels and horses.

Ian

[FlyTexas]

Oh Ian. Thanks for the laughs. Either you're up early or I'm up late.

Brian

[Tomliner]

Seeing as you've started this,I'll add those which I received a few days ago.I suspect there may be some overlap

Anyone know what I can do with 100 boxes of Tesco burgers I've been saddled with?
Despite the recent news, Tesco says that their beef burger sales remain stable...
Just got a batch of 200 Tesco beef burgers cheap, it only cost me a Pony
Just checked my Tesco Burgers in the fridge..... And, they're off!
Prices are going through the hoof in my area.
Reading the label on these Tesco burgers.... it turns out they're fairly low in fat, but surprisingly high in Shergar
Trouble is now people beginning to question the content of Tesco's finest new extra long sausages....
New kids food found in budget supermarket My lidl pony
Had a Tesco burger the other day but it gave me the trots
Tesco are expecting burger sales to go down initially......but not furlong
Apparently they've refused to name their mane supplier
Tesco PR department having a mare
Is it a coincidence that 'hamburgers' is an anagram of Shergars Bum ?
Tesco scored highly in a recent Gallop Poll
Tesco vegi burgers now found to contain uni quorn
Apparently the burgers go really well with Philly dip.EricT

[speedbird591]

... Either you're up early or I'm up late.

Up at 0330 this morning, Brian Don't want to disappoint those happy commuters who are looking forward to seeing a train after they've battled their way to the station! What's your excuse?

Ian

[Garry Russell]

Seriously guys this wouldn't hurt you. Any guts ache can be treated with Epsom Salts...you won't need to go to horsepiddle

[speedbird591]

'Orses for courses, Garry