SCOTTISH WEDDING
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
SEX
Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore ….. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
New Book
A man goes into Chapters and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short p**ises?"
She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
"That's the one; I'll take a copy…"
The Agony of Aging
On the morning that British Summer Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his manhood with black shoe polish.
I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
SCAM
Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favourite 18 Holes". Turns out it's about golf.
Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Best Regards,
Charlie Sheen
Sex Research (could be handy)
If sex with 3 people is called a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome,
now I understand why they call you handsome!
EricT
