How to Upset a Woman

[Tomliner]

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.. ?

MY NAME IS Linda , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 50-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED LAWTON HIGH SCHOOL .

YES. YES, I DID. I'M A WOLVERINE,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1962. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY,

OLD, BALDING,

WRINKLED FACED,

FAT-ASSED,

GRAY-HAIRED,

DECREPIT

SON-OF-A-BITCH

ASKED,

"WHAT DID YOU TEACH?



EricT

[dodger]

Hi Eric,

"HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.. ?"

No i can't say i have but i wish we did'nt have any mirrors in the house! its only then i think Bloody Hell that's not me is it!

Roger.

[Airspeed]

That's a bottler!
Oh, Eric....what with you and Graham...I'd buy the drinks to sit in a pub with you two for an evening!

[Tomliner]

Mike,I'd copied this to a friend of mine,forgetting that his wife's name is-yes you've guessed it-Linda.He replied saying that she'd seen it and wasn't laughing!Good job they live about 300 miles away! EricT
Edit,if you can't actually get over here to buy our drinks,you could send us the money! ErIcT

[TobyV]

I saw the title of this thread before I even clicked to read the joke and I thought "that can be answered in a million different ways", 999,999 of them unintentional!

[Nigel H-J]

Never mind about upsetting a woman..........just read what happened to me when shopping in a well known store, I kid you not........this really happened!!!!

Some years ago I was in a store with my wife and we both went to the till to pay for some clothes she bought, I pulled out the credit card and at the same time my wife pulled out the cheque book, the assistant looked at me then turned to my wife and asked...................are you paying or is your father?!!!!

BTW........Babs is 3 years older than me!!

Nigel.

[TSR2]

You poor bugger Nigel, you should have pointed out it was all of those years as a married man which had taken their toll

[Nigel H-J]

[nigelb]

As Toby pointed out, there is more than one way to acommplish this.

Nigel²

[Airspeed]

Edit,if you can't actually get over here to buy our drinks,you could send us the money! ErIcT

Regret I need about 50million rewards points to get a flight, and I only have about 5,000.

I tried stuffing money into the computer, but the fan shredded it.

You both deserve something, so how about this?: