Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station. Mick "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two!"
A coach load of paddies on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going..... the driver won £52!
Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires stickin out of it. He phones the police and says "Bejasus I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb."
The operator asks, "is it tickin?
Paddy says "No, oi tink it's beef"
Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor.
Mick says, "Oi Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."
Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different.
3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."
Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?."
Paddy replies, - I'll take her with me!"
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year"
Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?"
Paddy says, "Oi did, but it's for dry hair and I've just wet it"
Apologies for the third joke
EricT
