Some old some new

[GHD]

Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

If you can’t think of a word, say “*I forgot the English word for it*.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

My goal for 2022 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 16 to go.

Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes.

Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese.

FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented …I forgot where I was going with this.

I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money, so I got up and searched with him.

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

Just remember; once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be older .. this is *not* what I expected.

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So, remember...Don’t sing!

I see people my age mountain climbing; I feel good just getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

*Coronacoaster:* noun; the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing workouts, baking banana bread, and going for long walks; the next day you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and. missing people you don’t even like.

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[Dev One]

Oh dear, I can really relate to too many of those statements when at the doctors surgery!!!!
Keith

[nigelb]

Some real gems there! A few all too familiar. Thanks for sharing.

Nigel²

[Airspeed]

Thanks George.

[Paul K]

Each time this sort of thing is posted, I'm able to tick more and more boxes.

[Tako_Kichi]

Each time this sort of thing is posted, I'm able to tick more and more boxes.

Oh you too huh!

[Nigel H-J]

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

Tell me about it!!

Regards
Nigel.