The Raise
Posted: 08 Feb 2008, 11:38
**_ The Day the Penis asked for a Raise_***
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
** I do physical labor.
** I work at great depths.
** I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
** I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
** I work in a damp environment.
** I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
** I work in high temperatures.
** My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
** Sincerely, P. Niss
** The Response:
** Dear Penis:
** After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for
the following reasons:
** You do not work 8 hours straight.
** You fall asleep after brief work periods.
** You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
** You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
** You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
** You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
** You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
** You will retire well before you are 65.
** You are unable to work double shifts.
** You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
** And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking
bags.
** Sincerely,
** V. Gina
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
** I do physical labor.
** I work at great depths.
** I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
** I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
** I work in a damp environment.
** I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
** I work in high temperatures.
** My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
** Sincerely, P. Niss
** The Response:
** Dear Penis:
** After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for
the following reasons:
** You do not work 8 hours straight.
** You fall asleep after brief work periods.
** You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
** You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
** You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
** You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
** You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
** You will retire well before you are 65.
** You are unable to work double shifts.
** You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
** And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking
bags.
** Sincerely,
** V. Gina
