ALWAYS THOUGHT GRASS SNAKES WERE OK? - THINK AGAIN!
Posted: 16 Dec 2008, 12:29
Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not adder snakes.
A couple in Dorset had a lot of potted plants in the garden, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible frost. It turned out that a little grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.
She let out a very loud scream. The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came in and cold-nosed the husband on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The crew rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the paramedic saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbour. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbour man, seeing her lying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbour’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the supermarket, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of tinned foods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury required hospitalisation.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbour lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed the snake had bitten him.
She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little grass snake.
They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbour and his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the policemen drew truncheon and took a swipe at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the curtains.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames. He fell through the window into the garden on top of the family dog, which startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.
Meanwhile the burning curtains had spread to the walls and the entire house was blazing.
Neighbours had called the fire brigade and the arriving fire engine had started raising his ladder, as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-mile area of Poole, Bournemouth and Christchurch.
Time passed ---- both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was rebuilt, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world at last.
About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night, with a frost. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
She screamed and stabbed him to death!
Amen!
Graham
A couple in Dorset had a lot of potted plants in the garden, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible frost. It turned out that a little grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.
She let out a very loud scream. The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came in and cold-nosed the husband on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The crew rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the paramedic saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbour. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbour man, seeing her lying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbour’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the supermarket, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of tinned foods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury required hospitalisation.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbour lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed the snake had bitten him.
She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little grass snake.
They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbour and his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the policemen drew truncheon and took a swipe at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the curtains.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames. He fell through the window into the garden on top of the family dog, which startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.
Meanwhile the burning curtains had spread to the walls and the entire house was blazing.
Neighbours had called the fire brigade and the arriving fire engine had started raising his ladder, as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-mile area of Poole, Bournemouth and Christchurch.
Time passed ---- both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was rebuilt, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world at last.
About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night, with a frost. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
She screamed and stabbed him to death!
Amen!
Graham