I suspect you've probably got swine flu but..

[Filonian]

Just phoned the NHS swine flu helpline and all I got was crackling.

How did the pig go on holiday?
The swine flu

Swine flu isn't a problem for pigs, because they're all going to be cured anyway.

The first sign of pig flu is that you come out in nasty rashers.

If you want a clear train carriage on the way into work this week, just start coughing loudly and exclaiming "lgame dios!" in a Mexican accent.

Swine flu is getting serious, it has been reported to be a hamdemic, which may lead to an aporkolypse... But we'll get through. Where there's a swill there's a way.

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy had influenza A virus subtype hemagglutinin protein 1 neuraminidase protein 1.

The only known cure for Swine Flu has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment.

My friend says he's got swine flu, but I think he's telling porkies.

I have to say, I'm finding all these jokes about swine flu pretty boaring.


Graham

[nigelb]

What a load of b..................................acon!


Nigel²

[TobyV]

If I'd had to guess who wrote those jokes, I would have said Garry did

[Garry Russell]

:o

Garry

[Bridon Bear]

Sounds like Garry had snout to do with it...... ;-)

Regards

Bridon Bear

[Paul K]

Just phoned the NHS swine flu helpline and all I got was crackling.

Simple, yet perfect!