Nursery Rhymes..

[Filonian]

Nursery Rhymes won't die out if we keep them updated.

The future of nursery rhyme

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring
Of course...it's Global Warming.


Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.


Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its a*se
And turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry..
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too cause he was gay.


Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun..
Jill, the dill,
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.


Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.


Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.




Graham

[Garry Russell]

The Jack and Jill one I knew was thus

Jack and Jill went up the Hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jill forgot to take her pill
And now they have a daughter

And

The Grand old Duke of York
He had ten thousand men

Which can be considered normal now it's been legalised