Once a pun a time
Posted: 09 Oct 2010, 11:05
Savour every one.
Ø Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine
Ø A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Ø Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Ø Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Ø Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
Ø A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
Ø A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Ø Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Ø Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Ø Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Ø Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
Ø When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
Ø A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
Ø What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Ø Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Ø In democracy your vote counts; in feudalism your count votes.
Ø She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
Ø A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Ø If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
Ø With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Ø The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
Ø You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Ø Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Ø Every calendar's days are numbered.
Ø A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
Ø A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Ø He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
Ø A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Ø Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Ø Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Ø Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Ø Acupuncture is a jab well done
Oh stop groaning… some of them aren’t bad!
Ø Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine
Ø A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Ø Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Ø Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Ø Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
Ø A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
Ø A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Ø Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Ø Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Ø Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Ø Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
Ø When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
Ø A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
Ø What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Ø Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Ø In democracy your vote counts; in feudalism your count votes.
Ø She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
Ø A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Ø If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
Ø With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Ø The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
Ø You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Ø Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Ø Every calendar's days are numbered.
Ø A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
Ø A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Ø He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
Ø A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Ø Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Ø Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Ø Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Ø Acupuncture is a jab well done
Oh stop groaning… some of them aren’t bad!
Once again: CAN WE PLEASE GET A GROAN SMILEY! 
