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Ode To Daftland

Posted: 15 Aug 2013, 20:45
by Tomliner
We live in a country called Daftland
The England we knew is no more
Where sensible people do ludicrous things
Or risk breaking some Daftland law.

In Daftland we've police dogs with muzzles
Lest the villain has cause to complain
And to steal from a shop and say 'sorry'
Means you're free with no stain to your name.

You had better leave lights on in buildings
When you lock up and go home at night
'cause the burglars might hurt themselves entering
And there's no way you'll be in the right.

When speaking be wary in Daftland
As some terms that you've used all your life
Now have connotations unintended
And you'll end up in all sorts of strife.

We elect politicians in Daftland
To give us the laws of the land
Yet eight laws in ten now come from abroad
The whole thing has got out of hand.

The borders are open in Daftland
And of migrants there's no keeping track
Just a few of the thousands illegally here
Will ever be caught and sent back.

The exception to this is the hero
Who fought for this land in the war
He's old and he's sick, he might cost us a bit
So he's not welcome here anymore.

When the history is written of Daftland
Historians may just recall
That the craziest people in Daftland
are the public who put up with it all.
*-) EricT

Re: Ode To Daftland

Posted: 15 Aug 2013, 21:34
by Tako_Kichi
Just about sums up the old country for me. :(

Edit: I've read that through a couple of times now but seem to slip into the style of Stanley Holloway or Marriott Edgar while reading it. Anyone else think that style suits the above prose to a tee?

Re: Ode To Daftland

Posted: 15 Aug 2013, 23:21
by dodger
Hi Larry,

Well that was funny you saying those names but after reading that i was a mind of my real favorite Sir John Betjeman,

He had a dry wit about him and i used to enjoy seeing his travels around the country,

Certainly true there Eric ,thanks for posting.

Roger.

Re: Ode To Daftland

Posted: 16 Aug 2013, 03:36
by Airspeed
Thanks for the post.
Agreed, Larry. If I was any good at accents, I would have read it to my wife in Stanley Holloway style.

Re: Ode To Daftland

Posted: 16 Aug 2013, 10:33
by Filonian
Sadly, so true :'(


Graham