Classic British Flight Sim

Two pieces of tarmac were quietly sitting in a pub having a drink (as they do )

The black bit with the white line was just starting to wind down when his mate, who was red with a white bicycle painted on, start effing and blinding for no apparent reason. He then stands up and throws his drink against the wall before quietly walking out as if nothing has happened.

The barman rushes over and asks the black piece what on Earth was the matter with his mate.

"Don't worry", he said, "He often does that, you see he can't help it...he's a little bit of a cycle path"

Garry - I never thought you were old enough to remember that one, but the old ones are still the best....

Like the two snails walking on a newspaper; one dashed ahead and stopped.
When he caught up, the other asked why he'd done that.
"It said tear along dotted line."
(The kids at school laughed at it the first time round. Ah, those were the days)

I had not heard either one!

Nigel²

A sandwich walked up to a bar and asked for a beer.

"Sorry, I can't serve you" the barman said, pointing to a sign that clearly stated they did not serve food.

An Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman went into a pub, and the barman said "What is this, some kind of a joke?"
MikeW

Hey now!

Two caterpillars are gorging themselves on the leaves of a tree, when a butterfly flutters by, and the elder caterpillar says:
"You'll never get me up in one of those things"

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any f**king bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f**king bread, ask me again and I'll nail your f**king beak to the bar you irritating bast**d of a f**king bird!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?