Page 1 of 1

Some Smiles

Posted: 07 May 2014, 16:29
by Tomliner
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

-------------------------------------------------
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, "Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course, John," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," John said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said..
With his last breath John said, "I do!"

--------------------------------------
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is going to poison me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's going to poison me. What should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?
The man said, "Yes" and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."
:) Might cheer DaveB up.EricT

Re: Some Smiles

Posted: 07 May 2014, 16:47
by DaveB
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I needed a smile today and that did the trick :lol:

ATB
DaveB B)smk

Re: Some Smiles

Posted: 07 May 2014, 17:53
by Garry Russell
:rofl: :rofl:

Cheers Eric :)

Re: Some Smiles

Posted: 07 May 2014, 19:49
by Filonian
Image



Graham

Re: Some Smiles

Posted: 07 May 2014, 22:32
by cstorey
The last one reminds me of the exchange between Churchill and Nancy , Lady Astor

Astor : if you were my husband, I should put poison in your coffee

Chruschill : Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it !

Re: Some Smiles

Posted: 07 May 2014, 22:44
by DaveB
:lol: :lol:

ATB
DaveB B)smk

Re: Some Smiles

Posted: 07 May 2014, 23:58
by Tomliner
Chris,then there was the story of Churchill who, when slightly the worse for wear,was dancing with a woman who said to him:- 'Mr Churchill I believe that you are drunk'.To which he replied 'Madam I believe that you are ugly but in the morning I will be sober' :) Eric.T

Re: Some Smiles

Posted: 08 May 2014, 02:43
by Airspeed
Good ones! :lol: :lol: :lol:
I fear that I can guess why DaveB needs cheering up, will check posts.