Time For A Few Smiles
Posted: 19 Sep 2014, 12:29
On or two old chestnuts but still worth a smile
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy
nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred,' and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied her up and went golfing.
A woman came home, screeching
her car into the driveway, and ran into the
house. She slammed the door
and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the
lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach
stuff or mountain
stuff?'
'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
and the other is a husband …
Mother Superior
called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all
something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.'
'Thank God 'said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of Chardonnay’.
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her
husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
'Careful,' he
said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too
many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more
butter.
Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to
STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when youre cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you
LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget
to salt them.
Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think Idon't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving.
EricT
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy
nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred,' and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied her up and went golfing.
A woman came home, screeching
her car into the driveway, and ran into the
house. She slammed the door
and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the
lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach
stuff or mountain
stuff?'
'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
and the other is a husband …
Mother Superior
called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all
something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.'
'Thank God 'said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of Chardonnay’.
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her
husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
'Careful,' he
said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too
many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more
butter.
Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to
STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when youre cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you
LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget
to salt them.
Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think Idon't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving.
EricT
