Classic British Flight Sim

A man who had just bought a new Mercedes turned on the radio and nothing happened. Furious, he stamped back into the garage and yelled "When I buy a £50,000 car I expect the damn radio to work."
The salesman explained to him that the radio had been programmed to his voice and all he had to do was tell the radio what he wanted to hear.
He got back into the car and said "Country music," and old Willie Nelson started singing.
"Rock and roll," he exclaimed, and immediately Elvis started crooning.
"Easy listening," he remarked, and at once it sounded like he was in a supermarket.
He was relaxed, driving back to his home when a car cuts him up. He controls his temper but before he knows it another driver cuts him up.
"Useless stupid twat!" he screamed.
The radio comes on ... ".. now follows a party political broadcast by Home Secretary Teresa May...

Graham

President Obama went to the bank to cash a check and he didn't have his ID. And the teller said you've got to prove who you are.

He said, "How should I do that?"

She said the other day Phil Mickelson came in, he didn't have his ID but he set up a little cup on the ground, took a golf ball, putted it right into that cup so they knew it was Phil Mickelson. They cashed his check. Then Andre Agassi came in. And Andre Agassi didn't have his ID either. He put a little target on the wall, took a tennis ball and racquet –and hit the target. It was obvious it was Andre Agassi so we cashed his check.

.... "Is there anything you can do to prove who you are?"

Obama said, "I don't have a clue."

The teller smiles and says, Well, Mr. President, do you want your money in small bills or large bills."


anonyms..

Good one. *knock, knock, knock* Now who could that be at this time of night? ARGH!!

I didn't engineer it< Brian.

I'd have written the Identification as
"Pres~ O" -prancing about with his selfie pole -blowing himself kisses.

I'm sure the Worlds, Dignified, heads of state were duly impressed

Smart radio...... Though I don't know her from a bar of the proverbial, just fill in the relevant name for your country.


Buyers Downunder have been warned that the Samsung(?) voice-command TV transmits everything it hears back to a third party, so be careful what you discuss in the vicinity of the unit. How blinking stupid! For what possible reason would the set need to do that? "Channel 2" or "Increase volume" should not go any further than the control box in your set. Won't affect me, ours was dropped off on its way to the tip, it's never heard of voice control! (But it IS colour.)


Don't you fellows like your President? From over here, he seems to be the sanest top dog you've had in a long time.

I don't think Americans like sane presidents

We tend to vote in the quirky ones, don't we? Well there's one American who won't be running for President any time soon, my favorite British politician...Boris Johnson. From what I've read in the news he's going to renounce his American citizenship. Oh well, I'd love to have seen his presidential portrait. His hair alone would have made it a real piece of art.

Brian

Apparently, it's not easy to renounce you US citizenship

But yes, Boris wants to show his commitment to Britain by doing just that. He should have stayed making Frankenstein films

Well what the heck I'd like to know is..
Why it's it when I measure a cup of water it's 8 ounces
But when I order a cup of coffee I get only 6.. ounces...