Points to ponder
Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 12:41
# ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA..... FLOOR.
# ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
# IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
# I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE
# IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
# IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION
# WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
# WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
# WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
# IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
# CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
# IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
# WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
# ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
# HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
# IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
# WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?
# WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
# WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
# IF YOU SPIN AN
ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE
THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
# CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
# WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, 'GUIDE DOGS ONLY' IF THE DOGS CAN'T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND?
Keith
# ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
# IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
# I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE
# IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
# IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION
# WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
# WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
# WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
# IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
# CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
# IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
# WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
# ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
# HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
# IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
# WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?
# WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
# WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
# IF YOU SPIN AN
ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE
THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
# CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
# WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, 'GUIDE DOGS ONLY' IF THE DOGS CAN'T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND?
Keith
