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The Wife

Posted: 11 Sep 2015, 02:18
by FlyTexas
I was out until six this morning celebrating my wife's birthday.
She was absolutely livid when I got home!

Came home to find my missus stood in the hall wearing riding boots and holding a whip.
"Oh great," I thought. "Where the hell are we going to keep a horse?"

"Why do you always treat me like a kid?" asked my wife.
"Good question, love," I said, "but next time raise your hand before you ask me a question."

My mate was telling me he had found his 'forever woman'.
"I found mine years ago, " I said. "Forever moaning, forever eating, forever nagging..."

I said to my wife, "Darling, when I die I'm leaving everything to you."
"Why break a habit of a lifetime?" she replied.

:hide: Brian

Re: The Wife

Posted: 11 Sep 2015, 02:43
by nigelb
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Nigel²

Re: The Wife

Posted: 11 Sep 2015, 05:46
by Airspeed
:lol: I like 1 & 6. :agree:

Re: The Wife

Posted: 11 Sep 2015, 07:38
by Dev One
Mike ?6
Keith

Re: The Wife

Posted: 11 Sep 2015, 08:39
by DaveB
:lol: :lol:

:hide:

ATB
DaveB B)smk

Re: The Wife

Posted: 11 Sep 2015, 09:58
by Airspeed
Dev One wrote:Mike ?6
Keith
Yes, she does everything, put the ceramic teapot on the elecric stove and turned it on, put butter in the sacred enamel saucepan and burnt it black, broke her favourite mineral water glass, put the teatowel on the red hot stove.....shall I go on?

Re: The Wife

Posted: 12 Sep 2015, 12:01
by Airspeed
While all the above is true, they are mentioned because I I'm SO glad that I didn't do them!

It's also true that I take breakfast in bed to her 364 days each year, and make lunch 6+ days a week.
I do about 5/7 main meals.
I do it happily, we still love each other, and say so many times a day.
46th Anniversary in November. ;)

Re: The Wife

Posted: 12 Sep 2015, 19:24
by airboatr
Dev One wrote:Mike ?6
Keith
...and he wants to help me with my family's genealogy :| :doh:


..
you know, he said he loved me, but why is it I'm not getting any breakfast in bed :S

:)

Re: The Wife

Posted: 12 Sep 2015, 22:36
by cstorey
Airspeed wrote:
It's also true that I take breakfast in bed to her 364 days each year, and make lunch 6+ days a week.
I do about 5/7 main meals.
I do it happily, we still love each other, and say so many times a day.
46th Anniversary in November. ;)
What on earth do you mean by publishing such inflammatory material ? My wife read this disgraceful post over my shoulder . What do you think is going to happen now ????? :poke: :worried: :help: :(

Re: The Wife

Posted: 13 Sep 2015, 03:59
by Airspeed
cstorey wrote:
Airspeed wrote: ... What on earth do you mean by publishing such inflammatory material ? My wife read this disgraceful post over my shoulder . What do you think is going to happen now ????? :poke: :worried: :help: :(
Well, Chris, let her read this over your shoulder:

364 mornings, my girlfriend complains about me rushing off home early, so on the 365th, SHE gets breakfast in bed. :agree:




THAT should do it!