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Essex girl

Posted: 27 Sep 2015, 16:53
by Dev One
Five blokes in an Audi Quattro arrived at the ferry checkpoint in Harwich, Essex.

Tracey, in her brand new uniform, stops them and tells them:

"I can't let you on the ferry. It is illegal to have 5 people in a Quattro.


Quattro means four. One of you will have to get out and stay behind."

"Quattro is just the name of the car," the driver replies disbelievingly.

"Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons."

"You cannot pull that one on me. This is Tracey you're talking to here," she replies with a smile. "Quattro means four.


You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law.

So I can't let you onto the ferry. It's more than my job's worth to let you all on."

The driver is now very cross and replies
angrily,

"I've had enough of you. Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," responds Tracey, "but Sharon is busy dealing with the two blokes in the Fiat Uno".


Don't try this with a Citroen either.......?
Keith

Re: Essex girl

Posted: 28 Sep 2015, 02:25
by nigelb
:lol: :lol: :lol:

I have to say that I fear the significance of 'Essex Girls' may be lost on some of the Colonists here. I suppose an equivalent would be the Polish jokes told here until political correctness removed those from pop culture. Ah, blonde jokes are still told here as well as on this board My sister is blonde ( a real one in her younger days) and she loves those jokes. Also Virginians love to tell West Virginia joke and still do, PC be dammed,.

What do Wet Virginians call a pretty woman?
A Tourist
What do West Virginians do on Halloween?
Pump Kin!
How do you spot a West Virginia funeral?
The lead tractor has its headlights on.
Did you hear about the fire in the University of West Virginia library that destroyed all twenty books?
The real tragedy is that 15 if them hadn't been coloured yet.!
What do a tornado and a West Virginia divorce have in common?
Someone always loses a trailer.

:hide:

Nigel².

Re: Essex girl

Posted: 28 Sep 2015, 07:38
by Dev One
:lol: :lol: :lol:
nigelb wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:

I have to say that I fear the significance of 'Essex Girls' may be lost on some of the Colonists here. I suppose an equivalent would be the Polish jokes told here

[/b]
:hide:

Nigel².
Or Irish ones?
Keith

Re: Essex girl

Posted: 28 Sep 2015, 13:52
by FlyTexas
'Essex Girls' jokes are new to me, too. I've since googled a few (jokes, not the girls) and they can be pretty racy. :lol:

Brian

Re: Essex girl

Posted: 28 Sep 2015, 14:08
by Airspeed
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I can understand oogling E-sex girls, but how did those Virginians get wet, do the tourists bring bad weather?

Re: Essex girl

Posted: 28 Sep 2015, 19:08
by Dev One
Airspeed wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:
I can understand oogling E-sex girls,
But only on the internet I presume....
Keith

Re: Essex girl

Posted: 29 Sep 2015, 01:31
by nigelb
Airspeed wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:
................, but how did those Virginians get wet, do the tourists bring bad weather?
I am a bit slow on the uptake - you lost me there mate!

Nigel²

Re: Essex girl

Posted: 29 Sep 2015, 03:57
by Airspeed
Sorry, Nigel,
Typo in the first joke about pretty woman..... "Wet Virginians" instead of "West Virginians"
Just can't help myself. :$

Re: Essex girl

Posted: 30 Sep 2015, 01:49
by nigelb
Ah, I see now that you so kindly pointed it out. Old age, bad eyesight, spell checker, a bit pissed, out of tea and coffee - pick the excuse for me!

As a matter of fact, right now we are all WET Virginians as it is pouring and some hurricane remains maybe heading our way this weekend to top it all off. We hardly had any rain this past month but Mother Nature is fixing that now..

Nigel²