Page 1 of 1

Puns for breakfast?

Posted: 28 Jan 2017, 08:05
by Dev One
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted -Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done

Keith :hide:

Re: Puns for breakfast?

Posted: 28 Jan 2017, 09:44
by ChrisHunt
Shades of the Two Ronnies in some of those Keith - very funny indeed. A good start to the weekend! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Puns for breakfast?

Posted: 28 Jan 2017, 10:41
by Airspeed
Thanks Keith,
:lol: :lol: :lol:
A late breakfast, at 21:40, but much appreciated.

Re: Puns for breakfast?

Posted: 28 Jan 2017, 21:09
by Filonian
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Many thanks Keith


Graham

Re: Puns for breakfast?

Posted: 28 Jan 2017, 22:44
by nigelb
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Very puny! :hide:

Nigel²

Re: Puns for breakfast?

Posted: 29 Jan 2017, 05:50
by Paul K
:lol: :lol: :lol: