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Fifty Shades From An OAP

Posted: 02 Feb 2021, 18:36
by Tomliner
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) -by Pam Ayres
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... ... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t*t!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey


:) EricT

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Posted: 02 Feb 2021, 19:49
by Buggyman
Eric

How could you? I've just had me tea! :lol: :lol: :lol:



Allan

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Posted: 03 Feb 2021, 01:37
by Airspeed
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away....

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Posted: 03 Feb 2021, 08:40
by spot
That’s great . I nearly spat out my Quaker Oats :lol: :lol: :lol:

Brian

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Posted: 03 Feb 2021, 17:49
by FlyTexas
:rofl: Priceless!

Brian

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Posted: 04 Feb 2021, 07:56
by simondix
Wasn't that Pam Ayres?

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Posted: 04 Feb 2021, 08:39
by Tomliner
Wasn't that Pam Ayres?
Apologies, yes you are right. I obviously wasn’t concentrating when I cut and pasted from the received email.I’ve now corrected my post.
:doh: EricT

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Posted: 04 Feb 2021, 12:33
by Filonian
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Graham