Classic British Flight Sim

Two builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough
pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at
the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets
the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
Phil: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Phil: - Oh ! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example.... Do you have a goldfish at
home?
Phil: - Er .. mmm . well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?
Phil: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
then?
Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a
large garden then you have a large house?
Phil: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house...built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical
to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite
probably married?
Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with
your wife on a regular basis?
Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate
very often?
Phil: - Me? Never
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Phil: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
about your sex life!
Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Eric: - What's that then?
Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Eric: - Nope
Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.

:shock:

I could see that coming but it was still funny

...........And there's more...............
Adult Jokes... Enjoy

Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt you got
run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing'.

A woman asked her hubby if he knew how she could make her bust bigger.
He said 'try rubbing toilet paper between your tits, it's worked for your
arse'.

My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his
patients, it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet.

Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale clitoris licking
frog' She goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'.>

Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much, it
scared the s**t out of me. So today I decided I'm never reading again.

Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your mum
like?' Little girl replies 'Big cocks and vodka'.

A couple in a cafe in Llangollen asks 'Can you settle an argument for us
and pronounce where we are, VERY slowly?' The waitress leaned over and
said ........ 'Burrr gurrr king'.

Boss has to lay off Ann or Jack. Ann walks into the office, boss say's 'I
have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off.....'You better jack off,
I've got a headache'.

Larry la Prise who wrote the hokey cokey has died aged 93. The worst part
was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, then the
trouble started.

Paul McCartney poem-: We lay upon the grassy bank, my hands were all a
quiver, I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river.

Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend was rushed to hospital to have a
dangerous mole removed from his penis...... he won't be shagging one of
those again!

It's important to keep fit as you get older, my granny started walking 5
kilometres a day when she was 60. Today she's 97 and we don't know where
the hell she is!

Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of
tinsel.... They say it's only for the Christmas period.

A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her
pu**y. Doc say's 'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty?, it's just the tip
of the iceberg!

Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite, the
receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?' The bride answers 'Yes, I
won't take it up the ar**'!

OK, I know when it's time to leave......................but I'll be back!!!