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Whose the smartest?

Posted: 14 Aug 2006, 19:10
by VEGAS
From a guys point of view......

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded
to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't
even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said,"That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

"WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love
me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b*tch knows I'm smarter than her.

ATB

Posted: 14 Aug 2006, 19:20
by DaveG
:lol:

Re: Whose the smartest?

Posted: 14 Aug 2006, 22:19
by delticbob
VEGAS wrote: Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b*tch knows I'm smarter than her.

ATB
Just the one night :doh:

How do the the lines go.... "to love honour and obey"....."with all my worldy goods"...."the contents of my wallet are yours" :redface:

:lol:

Bob

Posted: 15 Aug 2006, 17:58
by Chris Sykes
At least u sleep with some1!!!! mines just left me!!!! Yippiee all the FS i can take!!!!!


Extreamly funning and she was out whited!!! nice1

Posted: 15 Aug 2006, 18:37
by VEGAS
Chris Sykes wrote:At least u sleep with some1!!!! mines just left me!!!! Yippiee all the FS i can take!!!!!


Extreamly funning and she was out whited!!! nice1
Sorry to hear that Chris. Keep tuning in to CBFSIM for more extreme nonsense, madness and Garry Russell jokes which are guaranteed to brighten your spirits. :wink: :smile: :poke:

Posted: 15 Aug 2006, 18:42
by Garry Russell
:k:

Garry

Posted: 15 Aug 2006, 18:49
by VEGAS
Wind up posted at 1837 hrs

Reply at 1842 hrs

Not bad Garry, not bad sir. Although a little slower than your normal response time.. :lol: :lol: :wink:

Posted: 15 Aug 2006, 23:38
by Chris Sykes
LMAO!!!!! yeah some good ones about!!!! Oh well at least i can watch, listen, do what i want and when i want aswell!!!!!!!!