Re: Mr. Bill Fenton. Multiple Complaints

migeater0 · Post by **migeater0** » 27 Nov 2006, 17:52

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behaviour and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our assistants are attending counselling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.

15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 4 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the Ladies toilets.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of Smarties aside for later.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Kindest Regards,

Alan Smith
Deputy Store Manager

Chris Sykes · Post by **Chris Sykes** » 28 Nov 2006, 00:48

whoot,,, cant stop laughin...

Post by **Garry Russell** » 28 Nov 2006, 00:59

Garry

Jetset · Post by **Jetset** » 28 Nov 2006, 21:14

Excellent

Vulcan_to_the_Sky! · Post by **Vulcan_to_the_Sky!** » 03 Dec 2006, 21:53

Callum · Post by **Callum** » 04 Dec 2006, 11:04

Haha! I was worried at the beginning... I thought i'd be getting the popcorn out for a flamewar