Security alert ...........

[Filonian]

Security Alert levels

The BRITISH are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved".

Soon, however, security levels may have to be raised again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross".

Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have also been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance".

The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the great fire of London in 1666.

The FRENCH government also announced yesterday that it had raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide".

The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate".

This latest rise was precipitated by a fire that destroyed France's White Flag factory,
effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

In addition to the British and the French, ITALY has increased its
alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military
Posturing".

Two more levels remain, "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

BELGIANS on the other hand are all on holiday and the only threat they
are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Finally the SPANISH are very excited as their new submarines are ready
to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so that
the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.


Graham

[Chris Sykes]

:crying: Very funny Graham!!!

[TSR2]

Brilliant Graham ... more like it

[Vulcan_to_the_Sky!]

Excellent!!