They're Back! Church Bulletins: thank God for the church ladies who type them.
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:
'Searching for Jesus.'
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
Recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
Things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang, 'I will not pass this way, again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
Nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will
Sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
Church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is
Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
Several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
Cycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
Person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
And gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
May be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
From the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
Ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
Lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
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The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to
Attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
Slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'
Graham
Church Bulletins
Moderators: Guru's, The Ministry
Re: Church Bulletins
Those are great! Certainly brightened up my monday morning, especially the last quote!!!
- Garry Russell
- The Ministry
- Posts: 27180
- Joined: 29 Jan 2005, 00:53
- Location: On the other side of the wall
Re: Church Bulletins
Love 'em Graham
Cheers
Garry
Cheers
Garry
Garry
"In the world of virtual reality things are not always what they seem."
"In the world of virtual reality things are not always what they seem."
Re: Church Bulletins
Wonderful Graham - keep em coming
Chris
Chris
- Kevin Farnell
- Vintage Pair
- Posts: 2083
- Joined: 26 Jun 2004, 13:29
- Location: Willingham, Cambridge UK.
- Contact:
Re: Church Bulletins
Wonderful :gigle:
My personal favourite, is the 'Bean Supper'.
Thanks for these, hopefully more will follow.
Regards
Kevin
My personal favourite, is the 'Bean Supper'.
Thanks for these, hopefully more will follow.
Regards
Kevin
Stratospheric traces, of our transitory flight.
Trails of condensation, held in narrow paths of white...
Trails of condensation, held in narrow paths of white...
Re: Church Bulletins
Thanks! Some real gems there.