Seamus and Bessie

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Filonian
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Joined: 27 Nov 2005, 08:08
Location: Gristhorpe, UK

Seamus and Bessie

Post by Filonian »

An Irish farmer named Seamus had a car accident.

In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning
Seamus.

'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm
fine?' asked the solicitor.

Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just
loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just
answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,
'I'm fine!'?'

Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was
driving down the road....'

The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying
to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man
told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks
after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a
fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and
said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his
favourite cow, Bessie'.

Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had
just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was
driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came
through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was
thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was
hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was
in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a
policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and
groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her
condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at
me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now what the F*c k would you say?'


Graham
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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FlyTexas
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Joined: 26 Jun 2004, 10:18
Location: Texas

Re: Seamus and Bessie

Post by FlyTexas »

:lol:

Brian

Keith Jones
Victor
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Joined: 20 May 2005, 19:01
Location: St Leonards on Sea, Sussex, UK

Re: Seamus and Bessie

Post by Keith Jones »

Great stuff! Keep 'em coming, Graham.
Wherever you go, there you are.

cstorey
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Posts: 1623
Joined: 11 Jul 2004, 19:36
Location: heswall, wirral

Re: Seamus and Bessie

Post by cstorey »

I love it. By the way , it was sheep yesterday ( Kiwi joke ) and cows today. What next?

Vulcan_to_the_Sky!
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Re: Seamus and Bessie

Post by Vulcan_to_the_Sky! »

Brilliant!!
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