The phone call

[Filonian]

A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and feels a bit lonely.
In a bit he thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone
booths when you're calling for a cab.

He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl
calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long
wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her ... you know the
kind!

He copied down the phone number and returned to his hotel.
When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call.

'Hello?' the woman says. (God, she sounded sexy!).

'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my
room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in
town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want
it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You
name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in
your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, wear
a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything
you want baby. Now, how does that sound?'

She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9.'

Graham

[DaveB]

AH yes.. the old dial 9 trick. Fortunately (or should that be unfortunately), I've had nothing similar happen at our hostility. That said, we often get folk phoning to book an appointment at the doctors :o Strange, but true.. our numbers are very similar ;-)

ATB

DaveB :tab:

[Myles]

Of course you prescibe a medicinal pint of Guinness or a hot whiskey which only benefits if acquired and consumed at a particular local establishment, don't you?

Myles

[DaveB]

You wouldn't believe how tempted I've been

ATB

DaveB :tab:

[emfrat]

A pint of plain is your only man.... :drinkers:

MikeW

[hobby]

My Scots Grandfather, an Elder of the Kirk, seemed to have a strong streak of prudence, he thought all doctors (medical or not) to be very clever men but expensive in the days prior to the NHS. He begrudged paying a shilling to the GP until he had attempted to cure any ailments in his family by the following means:

He took a large dessert spoon from the kitchen drawer, filled this spoon level with white sugar and then with the patient in tow - literally with small boys like myself, went to the sideboard in the lounge, unlocked the right hand cupboard and withdrew a large bottle of best malt whisky. He poured the whisky onto the sugar and bid the patient fill his/her mouth with the contents of the spoon bowl.

Young people of the family gained an early appreciation of malt whisky and were known to develop 'phantom' pains to undertake this form of treatment.

However Grandpa was one person but Grandma was quite different - she saved the shilling by threatening large doses of three things -castor oil (used to lubricate rotary aircraft engines) or syrup of figs or for cuts, stings etc. witch hazel. If your were very lucky she might instead give you an affectionate hug rather than the foregoing before sending you on your way with a cheery 'It will be gone by midnight.' The latter saved the expense on GPs, castor oil, syrup of figs and witch hazel - more Scots prudence.

She also made fine oatcakes and delicious scons and cakes.