Farewell to common sense

[VEGAS]

An Obituary printed in the London Times....... Interesting and sadly
rather true

"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could
not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by
his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son,
Reason...

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

[DaveB]

I think someone else has posted this recently mate.. unless of course someone emailed it to me :think:

Rings true though doesn't it ;-)

ATB

DaveB :tab:

[Techy111]

Rings true though doesn't it ;-)

ATB

DaveB :tab:

Don't think so Dave.....it says above that truth Died earlier on.....

Tony

[Rick Piper]

Hi Dave

It was me mate.

I posted it in Admin

Regards
Rick

[VEGAS]

Rick, you beat me to it mate. Must have missed it first time round. Oh well at least it gets another airing.

[Rick Piper]

Ok here is another i liked

Don't think it's too offensive to post here

Regards
Rick
*************************************

Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official,

'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances.
You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'


The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied.
'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water.
Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'
Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.'

[Nigel H-J]

I missed the first Eddie so thanks for the above.

Think a copy should be sent to Brown & Co. They might learn something from it!!!! :roll:

Regards
Nigel.

[Rick Piper]

Here is a topical one

A bit rude but have censored the rude parts to avoid direct offence.

Regards
Rick
******************

An Israeli doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor said, 'That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

A Russian doctor said, 'In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

The English doctor, not to be outdone, said 'Hah!. We can take an a***hole out of Scotland, put him in 10 Downing Street and have half the country looking for work within twenty-four hours