The next pandemic...

[Filonian]

I went to a "Mess Dining In" party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol.

I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, etc.

From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu. This debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears this is not an isolated case.

Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down.

However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD and take some Nurofen (Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu). Others are reporting a McDonald's Happy Meal can also help in some cases. If not, then further application of the original liquid, in similar quantities to the original dose, has been shown to do the trick.

Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period.

NOTE: If you find you are complaining a lot, it may be that it has mutated into Whine Flu. This is particularly common in men and can quickly spread to their partners where the symptoms are detected as a serious case of eye-rolling.



Graham

[airboatr]

cheeeezee

[DanKH]

Ha ha, and here I was certain that the next one was fish-flu

[Garry Russell]

I've not been affected yet so I think I'll innoculate myself with controlled doses..in increasing amounts.....of the cause

Garry

[airboatr]

- sim - flu

[Molyned]

Thats serious! it's clearly spreading across the country .
I found that I'd come down with it, when waking this morning. I think I caught it off one of the others on our multiplayer flight last night.
It must be a coincidence that I imbibed an enjoyable quantity of jolly-juice during the evening. I'll check by repeating the experiment next week to be sure.
if it is wine flu, then I know that only in very rare cases does one bout stop you ever catching it again - I've had it many times .
Cheers
Dave M(oly)
ps - I forgot another dreaded disease thats struck me down on occasions - Barrel fever

[Effoh]

Thank God for that - I thought it was something far more serious this morning!