Yorkshire....

[Filonian]

with apologies to those who don’t understand the vernacular……

Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

Vet: "Is it a tom?"

Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi mi."


***

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"

Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"

Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

***

A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it. He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral.

True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.

When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "she were thin".

He explodes - 'ell fire man, you've left t'bloody "e" out, you've left ' bloody "e" out!

The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.

Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason -

"There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".

The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud - "E, she were thin".



Graham

[Garry Russell]

I can Just imagine Amos Brearly saying those

[PeteP]

Brilliant, Graham - I've only just managed to pick myself up off the floor, having fallen off my chair from laughing so much!

Pete

[Nigel H-J]

Took me a few reads before I got the first one, though the rest had thee in stitches.

Nigel.

[VEGAS]

Brilliant mate,

I know this one:

Barnsley man goes into the Chemist

Barnsley man: as thee got any arse cream?

Chemist: We've got magnums or cornetto's

[Nigel H-J]

That takes some licking Eddie!!

Nigel.

[Tomliner]

And then there was Hardcastle the Yorkshireman whose prize in a competition was a round of golf with Sevvy Balestros.After Hardcastle teed off Sevvy said 'Hey that's a great tee shot' to which Hardcastle replied 'Aye it's a bit tight but I gorrit cheap from Primark' EricT

[Filonian]

Brilliant mate,

I know this one:

Barnsley man goes into the Chemist

Barnsley man: as thee got any arse cream?

Chemist: We've got magnums or cornetto's

Graham

[PeteP]

I know this has been posted here before but, for those who may have missed this classic on previous occasions here it is, in true Yorshire style without apology, once more - Yorkshire Airlines

[DelP]

I'm staying out of his one..

...many years ago I was married to a Yorkshire lass and when I came out of the Army we went to live with her folks in the depths of Swaledale.....

Yorkshire with a bit of Norse........

Derek