An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf. So he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the club to enquire why.
Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?
Scot: Aye but I am as Scottish as you are Jock.
Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.
Scot: Aye, so do I.
Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?
Scot: Aye, neither do I.
Secretary: But you are a Jew?
Scot: Aye, I be that.
Secretary: So you are circumcised?
Scot: Aye, I be that too.
Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel
comfortable with that.
Scot: Ach, away with ya man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Columbus. But this is the first time I heard that you have to be a complete pr*ck to join a golf club.
Graham
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The trouble with kilts is, some of us risk being arrested for vagrancy, or "having no visible means of support", as it is pronounced in legalspeak.
I rest my c... erm, no, we won't go there.
MikeW
emfrat wrote:The trouble with kilts is, some of us risk being arrested for vagrancy, or "having no visible means of support", as it is pronounced in legalspeak.
I rest my c... erm, no, we won't go there.
MikeW
Graham
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Reading these jokes reminded me of when i lived in Devon in the 1970's and used to truck every week up to Scotland and many times parked up off of London Rd in Glasgow at a pub and used to get the children asking to look after your lorry for two bob ,as it was then,
I wonder if the children of today do that anymore?
Cheers,
Roger.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
