The Older Soldier

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Tomliner
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The Older Soldier

Post by Tomliner »



New Direction for any war:

Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a**hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am . Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys… We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them
for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.


These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pi$$ed off old f@rts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.



HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!

You think MEN have attitudes?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

:) EricT
Now at the age where I know I like girls but can't remember why!

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jonesey2k
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Re: The Older Soldier

Post by jonesey2k »

Heh, I'd like to see a bunch of old guys on a fast tab in full CEFO with a GPMG... :lol:
Error 482: Somebody shot the server with a 12 gauge.

nigelb
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Re: The Older Soldier

Post by nigelb »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

"An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am . Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell"

From personal experience, I can vouch for that! :agree:

Nigel²

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DaveB
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Re: The Older Soldier

Post by DaveB »

on a fast tab in full CEFO with a GPMG... :lol:
On second thoughts.. you'd better keep sending the young'uns. Of that, I understood GPMG :lol:

With you on the early morning pee though in reality, that should be pee's! :lol:

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Garry Russell
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Re: The Older Soldier

Post by Garry Russell »

Hmmm *-)

I didn't understand any of it :dunno:
Garry

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steelsporran
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Re: The Older Soldier

Post by steelsporran »

:worried: What were we talking about?
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Garry Russell
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Re: The Older Soldier

Post by Garry Russell »

This

jonesey2k wrote:Heh, I'd like to see a bunch of old guys on a fast tab in full CEFO with a GPMG... :lol:
:dunno:
Garry

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steelsporran
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Re: The Older Soldier

Post by steelsporran »

:doh: Sorry, I forgot.
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DaveB
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Re: The Older Soldier

Post by DaveB »

Well.. I think that rights us older guy's out of the picture then! :lol:

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jonesey2k
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Re: The Older Soldier

Post by jonesey2k »

:lol: :doh: :hide:
Combat Equipment Fighting Order, ie loads of stuff that weighs a tonne.
General Purpose Machine Gun, a big gun that is about 12kg's not including the weight of a couple of hundred rounds of ammunition.
Fast tab, what some people might call a fast yomp.
Error 482: Somebody shot the server with a 12 gauge.

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