Dear Milkman....

[Tomliner]

.....
Remember when they delivered milk?

For those of us who remember milk deliveries in bottles, here is a good example of a collection of notes left in milk bottles.

Dear milkman:

I've just had a baby, please leave another one.

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.

Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.

When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street . If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk.

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.

Milkman please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.
EricT

[Airspeed]

I'll bet the deceased is looking forward to that further notice!

[dodger]

Those were the days Eric,

I used to help our milkman on Saturdays when i was at school, i used to drive the 3 wheel electric milk float for him so he could get about quicker! and they did'nt deliver Bread/Orange Juice/Eggs etc, mind you there was not the cars in the streets either,

I am talking about the Fifties mind you, the 19fifties

My brother-in-law was a milkman for 30 years starting at 3am 7 days a week, he earned his money by golly !

Roger.

[Defender]

Well here in rustic Tynedale the milk is still delivered in glass pint bottles, with "568ml" in very small embossed letters!

Bill

[DaveB]

I have to say that milkmen are scarcer than rocking horse sh1t here in the West Midlands but we must still have them. Had milk delivered at the pub in Berkshire and it was in glass bottles too

ATB
DaveB