BMW drivers.......

[Filonian]

This is so very true



Diary extracts from a "BMW" driver....


"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road!
I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

(The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.) Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?)

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and cruising along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!"

[Harry Basset]

I was told that the raised rings on the front of Audi's are there so they can stamp their brand on your boot lid?

[dodger]

Well Graham i have just had a week up in Kent after moving down to Cornwall 8 months ago and i tell you it was not only BMW drivers doing 100 plus on the M25!! but i will not tell you how fast i was driving, not above 90 anyway

Roger.

[Swanoir]

I was told that the raised rings on the front of Audi's are there so they can stamp their brand on your boot lid?

I must say, maybe it's where I live, but the Audi drivers round these parts are the rudest, most arrogant, selfish and incompetent drivers I've ever come across! And why pay all that money for a car that doesn't have indicators? At least, I assume they don't come with indicators, as I've never seen an Audi use them...

[DaveG]

Quite often when I'm out and about, I play a variation of "Yellow Car", but instead of saying "yellow car" when I see a yellow car, if I see a BMW I say "To$$er"

[dodger]

Mind you not all BMW drivers are T###s, my son drives one, then again he drives a Police one

Roger.

[nigelb]

I find I can add SUV drivers to the BMW class - they think they own the road because they are bigger. Apologies to anyone with an SUV here.

Nigel²

[Airspeed]

Quite often when I'm out and about, I play a variation of "Yellow Car", but instead of saying "yellow car" when I see a yellow car, if I see a BMW I say "To$$er"

Thanks for the explanation of your earlier signature character, Dave.
Haven't played anything like it since our Daughter stopped "Punch-buggy-no-return" with VW Beetles.

EDIT SORRY, thanks for the original post Graham.

[Vancouver]

Y'all want to come over here and experienced the Dodge Ram aimers. "Drivers" being a misnomer in their case.

[adysmith]

I find I can add SUV drivers to the BMW class - they think they own the road because they are bigger. Apologies to anyone with an SUV here.

Nigel²

Would that be me with my Land Rover Discovery?