Fifty Shades From An OAP

The Crewroom for non-FS related stuff, fun and general chat.

Moderators: Guru's, The Ministry

Post Reply
User avatar
Tomliner
Red Arrows
Red Arrows
Posts: 5045
Joined: 02 Apr 2006, 12:00
Location: Edinburgh UK

Fifty Shades From An OAP

Post by Tomliner »

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) -by Pam Ayres
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... ... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t*t!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey


:) EricT
Last edited by Tomliner on 04 Feb 2021, 08:34, edited 1 time in total.
Now at the age where I know I like girls but can't remember why!

Buggyman
VC10
VC10
Posts: 561
Joined: 28 May 2005, 20:29
Location: Scottish Borders

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Post by Buggyman »

Eric

How could you? I've just had me tea! :lol: :lol: :lol:



Allan

User avatar
Airspeed
Red Arrows
Red Arrows
Posts: 9304
Joined: 14 Sep 2011, 03:46
Location: Central Victorian Highlands, Dja Dja Wurrung Country, Australia
Contact:

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Post by Airspeed »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away....

spot
Trident
Trident
Posts: 303
Joined: 03 Dec 2008, 20:00
Location: Bridgend Mid Glam

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Post by spot »

That’s great . I nearly spat out my Quaker Oats :lol: :lol: :lol:

Brian
Low and slow, the way to go ;)

User avatar
FlyTexas
Red Arrows
Red Arrows
Posts: 7151
Joined: 26 Jun 2004, 10:18
Location: Texas

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Post by FlyTexas »

:rofl: Priceless!

Brian

simondix
Vintage Pair
Vintage Pair
Posts: 2177
Joined: 10 Aug 2007, 08:54
Location: Redditch, Worcestershire, UK

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Post by simondix »

Wasn't that Pam Ayres?
Simon

Image

'The trouble with the speed of light is it gets here too early in the morning!' Alfred. E. Neuman

User avatar
Tomliner
Red Arrows
Red Arrows
Posts: 5045
Joined: 02 Apr 2006, 12:00
Location: Edinburgh UK

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Post by Tomliner »

Wasn't that Pam Ayres?
Apologies, yes you are right. I obviously wasn’t concentrating when I cut and pasted from the received email.I’ve now corrected my post.
:doh: EricT
Now at the age where I know I like girls but can't remember why!

Filonian
Red Arrows
Red Arrows
Posts: 6383
Joined: 27 Nov 2005, 08:08
Location: Gristhorpe, UK

Re: Fifty Shades From An OAP

Post by Filonian »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Graham
Image
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Post Reply