Made an idiot of yourself??

[forthbridge]

Just for a little fun.... what's the most embarrasing thing you've ever managed? (apart from some posts here!) ;-)

Here are two of mine....

1: years ago, a work colleague was 'AWOL' (I worked in the NHS at the time) - and I assumed he was out the back at a loading dock having a fag - so I went down, and saw the shutter was up. I then ran and leapt through the curtains and went 'HAAH!!' - only to land in front of the girls from the Pharmacy sitting outside in the sun...........

2:At Leuchars airshow, I asked my nephew if he wanted a go on a ride which (no idea what it's called) - involved sitting in a cage, restrained by metal bars, each at the end of an arm - the whol ride then wheels round at speed, while the cages rotate randomly.... anyway, I had been on one when I was 15 - so no problem thinks I when he said 'I will if you will' - so I sent him on first, but was unable to renege when he disembarked...... well, I staggered off 'That was great' (feeling very ill) 'I'll just sit (collapse) down and have a cuppa son' - While he laughed his head off and took delight in reporting back to the family later in the day.....

[DispatchDragon]

Too many times Jim
but - an aviation oriented one

Many years ago I rode the jumpseat on a Dan Air 111 from Luton to Rimini -- we used to have to fly in uniform which
differed from aircraft only by the width of the gold braid. About top of climb I had to pee like a russian race horse.
So I stowed the jumpseat and got ready to leave the sanctity of the cockpit - George Clements (the captain) looked back
and siad "Dont forget your titfer lad" - so I put on my carefully molded "50 mission crush" Dan Air ramprats hat and stepped through the door - the girls had the curtain pulled across the galley and I peered through to make sure that the aisle was clear, as I stepped through the curtain 89 faces turned my way. The PA clicked on and George's northcountry accent could be heard. "Ladies and gentlemen , your copilot is stepping into the cabin, he is an expert on the BAC1-11 so feel free to ask him any questions you wish, especially those technical ones".

You would be amazed at how long you can hold it if you really have too


Leif

[RJP]

3 or 4 years ago I was jumpseating to Brussels on a 757 freighter. I'd been driving for most of the day & as soon as I got to BRU was getting on another aircraft to head back to the sandpit. When I got on board I eye-up the entry area, thinking "mmm, plenty of space to roll out the sleeping bag here". The skipper was a very friendly, jolly sort of chap though & practically insisted that I take the jumpseat.

I have vague memories of taxiing out and then nothing. Well, not until sometime in the cruise when I woke up, slumped all the way forward in the straps. I remember thinking "oh f***, I hope I havn't been dribbling on the radios". The odd looks I got for the rest of the trip suggest that maybe I had though

Rgds
Richard

[forthbridge]

Great stuff lads!! Keep 'em coming...!

I have also just remembered one in an Edinburgh pub - the 'Jingling Geordie'. Near the door, was a 'booth' with a 'phone', and I could see various people using it over the course, when I decided I needed to make a call...... so over I go.... Bang! I had not noticed the glass door with small frame which was in use. (to be fair, it megged into the haze of tobacco smoke) - so anyway, I recomposed, entered and made the call, telling myself all was well, no-one had noticed....

And another time, I threw a small pack of roasted peanuts to a mate, while I was at the bar - this managed to hit his new pint as a bullseye and send the contents all over him....

[DelP]

Many years ago after I came out of the Mob I was waiting to go to college and working in a garage for the summer.

One day the fitter had just finished a full re-spray on a used car that was sitting up on the pillar lift. He said we'll just push it off and asked me to jump up and hit the brakes as it reversed off the ramp. The car had started rolling as I was trying to get in and I was a bit too slow.....my foot got caught and as the car rolled backwards the open door caught the rear pillar, folded forward and as it came off its hinges it took the wing off..........

The fitter just stared as I went white as a sheet...

Fully expecting to lose my job when the boss returned I waited, feeling sick as a parrot. Eventually the boss turned up, looked at the damage and said 'Don't worry about it....', then walked off. Puzzled, I looked at the fitter. He explained that the previous year the boss had just completed a 5-year restoration on an MG. First time out he'd put it into the wrong gear and reversed it at speed straight into a brick wall...so he was hardly likely to comment on my foul-up.....

Still, I cringe when I think about it and can still see that door folding forward in slow-motion.....

ATB,

Derek

[Nigel H-J]

When I was about ten years old my father had a Morris 1100, he had stopped outside some shops so my mother could buy a few things, whilst there I wanted to have a look at one of the shops and got out.

On my return my father was no longer in the car and the rear door was locked, I found that the passenger door was unlocked and opened the back door from the inside and got in.

I waited for some minutes wondering where my father had gone then a complete stranger got into the drivers' seat!! :o

I then asked "What are you doing in my fathers' car?" Equally surprised he turned round and said "What are you doing in my car?"

Confused I looked straight ahead and then realised my mistake......same car......same colour.....but ours was parked just in front!!!

Another time was when shopping with the wife, don't know about you but I tend to wander away and look at the magazines or books rather than wander along the aisles playing dodgems with other shoppers' trolleys.

After a scan of a couple of magazines I then went off in search of her ladyship, having walked miles up and down the aisles I finally caught sight of her and made a direct approach from behind............."Hi sweatheart, I'm back" and was just about to put my arms around her when she turned..........It was not the wife!! Just someone who looked very much like her from the rear, what really worried me was that this woman gave me such a lovely smile!!

Regards
Nigel.

[Harry Basset]

When I was a recently qualified loco driver I had to stable my loco on a short siding in front of the loco shed roller shutter door which was down/closed. I set back gently and applied the brakes and stopped short, no problem, I'll just get her a breath of steam and nudge back. Unfortunately I gave her a bit too much and reapplying the brake on greasy rail did not stop me in time, as we slowly hit the door each section of the door bent and burst from the guide channels with a loud rattlling crunch. i've seen others do it since, it's funnier when you're watching than when you are participating.

[forthbridge]

Turning into a nice amusing thread this!

[Robin]

Ok on a similar note to Nigels, Alan a colleague of the better half went away to a Caravan park with his mrs and inlaw's. Her dad took Alan out and they were both suitably tanked up after a while. Her dad staggered back whilst Alan went to the toilet. Alan then wandered back to his caravan, opened the door to see his Mrs up at the sink. He said "Come on you let's get them knickers off" and slapped her arse only for her to turn round and scream. It wasn't his Mrs, he was in the wrong caravan.

And this thread wouldn't be fair if I didn't add one of my own. When I was 5 my dad started playing cricket for the local team. He was just about to go into bat and I asked him "Have you got your box on dad?" and knocked where his box was. A strange voice said "Yes I have and no I'm not your dad."

D'oh.

[Techy111]

As a Paramedic recently in the job i went to a Purple Plus.....Terminology we use for somebody who has been deceased for a while and is beyond our help...

Anyway i got called one day to said Purple plus....an elderly gentleman sitting in his favourite chair.....wife very upset and stating that the family is on the way....could we please put this chappie in his own bed so he looked all peaceful.....well that was no problem so we picked him up and placed him into his bed and tucked him in , looking all peaceful and serene....

Now on callouts like these we call the police so they can arrange all the details with the family..coroner , GP , Clergy....that sort of stuff....Well anyway...the Met Police turned up with 2 Pc's...one being very new and just out of Hendon whose eyes were like saucers....We explained to him that the Male was deceased and in his bed for the Relatives to view him when they arrived.....all ok so far....I was doing my paperwork for the coroner when the relatives arrived...now these hadn't been told that the gentleman was dead so the young PC stepped forward and told the relatives to be prepared as he had some bad news for them.....!!!

He stepped up and said....."I am afraid Mr..... has gone"
"gone where" they said...."he was here this morning" ?

PC now stammering..."I am afraid he has left us" !
"left to go where?" said the relatives....

And so he went on....he just couldn't say the word "dead".....

Now there is many more that i have personally done...like ask the fat woman when she was due....but i'll leave it there.....

Tony