If..

The Crewroom for non-FS related stuff, fun and general chat.

Moderators: Guru's, The Ministry

Post Reply
Filonian
Red Arrows
Red Arrows
Posts: 6383
Joined: 27 Nov 2005, 08:08
Location: Gristhorpe, UK

If..

Post by Filonian »

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

! If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part ):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.......Twice a day..
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself !!!!



Graham
Image
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

User avatar
Garry Russell
The Ministry
Posts: 27180
Joined: 29 Jan 2005, 00:53
Location: On the other side of the wall

Re: If..

Post by Garry Russell »

This turns up now and again and it creases me up eveytime I see it :lol: :lol: :lol:

Cheers Garham

Garry
Garry

Image

"In the world of virtual reality things are not always what they seem."

Quixoticish
Concorde
Concorde
Posts: 1124
Joined: 15 Oct 2005, 15:16
Location: York

Re: If..

Post by Quixoticish »


Post Reply