More definitions - Irish ones

[Dev One]

The Irish have
the lowest stress rate because they do not understand the seriousness of most medical terminology.....

Medical Term..........................................Irish Definition


Artery...................................................The study of paintings

Bacteria ................................................Back door to cafeteria

Barium..................................................What doctors do when patients die

Benign..................................................What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section ....................................A neighbourhood in Rome

Cat scan.................................................Searching for Kitty

Cauterize ............................................. Made eye contact with her

Colic.....................................................A sheep dog

Coma....................................................A punctuation mark

Dilate....................................................To live long

Enema ..................................................Unfriendly female

Fester ..................................................Quicker than someone else

Fibula...................................................A small lie

Impotent ..............................................Distinguished, well known

Labour Pain............................................Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff..........................................A Doctor's cane

Morbid..................................................A higher offer

Nitrates ................................................Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days

Node....................................................I knew it

Outpatient.............................................A person who has fainted

Pelvis...................................................Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative........................................ A letter carrier

Recovery Room ......................................Place to do upholstery

Rectum................................................Nearly killed him

Secretion..............................................Hiding something

Seizure................................................Roman Emperor

Tablet................................................A small table

Terminal Illness ....................................Getting sick at the airport

Tumour..............................................One plus one more

Urine.................................................Opposite of you're out

[cstorey]

This reminds me of a scene in one of the Medical Carry On films, where patient - Arthur Haynes - is telling Surgeon James Robertson Justice about his troubles . " Well , I got it straight up the ......" "Rectum" shouts Justice . " Well , it didn't do 'em any good "

[dodger]

Some good ones there,

Thanks for the Laughs,

Roger.

[Dev One]

Roger,
Yes we need a good laugh with all of the world worries these days. Fortunately I have this mad old mate in Wales who keeps me amused & I pass on here the ones that I hope will tickle the forum guys (& gals) .........
Keith

[Tomliner]

EricT

[nigelb]

No doubt Paddy had a hand in these definitions.

Nigel²