Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Ans wer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Question: My wife asked 'What are you going to do today'?
I said 'Nothing'
She said 'You did that yesterday '
I said 'I wasn't finished'
Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
Anybody out there still working, want to swap for my retirement? If I could turn back the clock 20 years, I'd gladly put in the hard work I did in those days. I'd burn the rocking chair!
Hi Paul. Come to the Old People's Home in Walton-on-Thames. My carer will let you in. The rocking chair will be warm, and my false teeth should fit you. Leave your car engine running so I can make a quick getaway.
Even a clapped out Laguna is quicker than the 3 wheeled electric buggy you'd be driving. As for R or L side of the road, the road surfaces are so bad in this area, that you'll be swerving all over the road trying to avoid them. Elmbridge Borough Council, one of the wealthiest in the UK according to Google, is responsible for their upkeep. Says it all!
I'll drive him, .... ummm ... on the left - right?
The only side of the road you'll need to worry about is the road-side rescue. In terms of reliability, it makes British Leyland look like Honda.
By the way, I wouldn't say it's clapped out - I've had it since almost new and there's only 50K on the clock. The engine itself is quite strong, it's just everything else that keeps going wrong with it - alternator, alternator pulley, TDC sensor ( three times ), it eats track rod ends, water pump, and on and on. Still, that means a lot of the car is quite new.
EricT
You promised it to Me!!
... on the left - right? 
