We Must Stop This Immediately! .........

[Filonian]

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are heavier . And, everything is farther away.

Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognise me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection…well, REALLY NOW -even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the Motorway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilised these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 18" collar shirt as 20" Do they think no one notices?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning:
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

PS: I am posting this in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.



Graham

[blanston12]

Truth!

[Tomliner]

I've noticed that too Graham. I think that getting older is so overrated and it'll never catch on EricT

[Nigel H-J]

All of that is so true apart from:

while I was combing my hair this morning

My comb is in the drawer and has not been used for years, I just have to brush the sides of my head!!

Regards
Nigel.

[FlyTexas]

I didn't even notice that a larger font size was being used until I read it.

Brian

[Dev One]

Where is the petition so I can put my X on it. You forgot to say anything about getting short tempered & being one of the 7 Dwarves......
Keith

[Vancouver]

Of course the shops are further away than they used to be...... the universe we are informed is e x p a n d i n g

[nigelb]

I discovered I am not as tall as I used to be during a routine visit to the doctor. I refused to believe I had lost 2 inches but the nurse insisted she had measured correctly. Gravity and age maybe?

Nigel²

[blanston12]

I discovered I am not as tall as I used to be during a routine visit to the doctor. I refused to believe I had lost 2 inches but the nurse insisted she had measured correctly. Gravity and age maybe?

Nigel²

I think it's just the ever expanding universe

[Airspeed]

Many painful truths in there, Graham!