You're all a bunch of jokers
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- thehappyotter
- Concorde
- Posts: 734
- Joined: 27 Nov 2005, 15:15
- Location: Nottinghamshire
- Contact:
You're all a bunch of jokers
In a nice way of course...
Everyone here seems to be a little funny, what with all the terrible jokes which get posted each day, i'm asking for your help on a little matter I need sorting.
A friend and collegue of mine is a bit of a joker, it started with him putting horse poo in my kit back, then a live frog in my coat pocket and then, as a way to get me back for the dead mackerel I put in his locker yesterday I was greeted with a whole pigs head in mine when I came to get ready to go home this afternoon.
It's getting out of hand and he needs teaching a lesson!
I can't seem to think of anything to top this, something which won't cause damage anyway...
What practical jokes have people here pulled or had pulled on them, any ideas how I can get the git back?
Everyone here seems to be a little funny, what with all the terrible jokes which get posted each day, i'm asking for your help on a little matter I need sorting.
A friend and collegue of mine is a bit of a joker, it started with him putting horse poo in my kit back, then a live frog in my coat pocket and then, as a way to get me back for the dead mackerel I put in his locker yesterday I was greeted with a whole pigs head in mine when I came to get ready to go home this afternoon.
It's getting out of hand and he needs teaching a lesson!
I can't seem to think of anything to top this, something which won't cause damage anyway...
What practical jokes have people here pulled or had pulled on them, any ideas how I can get the git back?
- speedbird591
- Battle of Britain
- Posts: 4038
- Joined: 24 Jun 2004, 05:56
- Location: Wiltshire, UK
- Contact:
The guy next door to me in my first year halls at university was an arse. I just needed to get that straight before I explain what was done to him. Towards the end of the year, because he considered himself a popular chap and left his door open, one of the other OTC guys decided to douse his room with a powder fire extinguisher. By the time they finished it looked like it had been snowing in there. Sadly this had the unfortunate side effect of triggering the smoke alarm and thus calling out the fire brigade. They were observed to recognise the perpetrator as the same guy who 6 months earlier had detonated a firework outside my room at 2.40am in December :huf: One of them said to him "Powder sets off fire alarms, its a learning curve".
Not content with this some of the people from the next corridor disappeared out that evening and collected a quantity of cow excrement which they left in a plastic tub outside his door with a spoon in the top :shock: The reference was to his hobby of being a "sh1t stirrer", deliberately provoking various people with rumours to cause ugly scenes between people for his own amusement when he got drunk.
Other good ones were:
Getting a number of people to bounce someone's car at the rear and thus repark it at 90 degrees to the way it had been left
Leaving some old fish in the passenger cabin air scoops of someones car to give the interior a new aroma
(On a rear wheel drive car); jacking the car under the differential just enough so the wheels are just off the ground. When they get in the wheels will just spin and the car will go nowhere. This was done to Ayrton Senna by mechanics at Lotus' Hethel site when he went there to sign up for their F1 team for the 1985 season.
Disclaimer:
I do not condone any of the above as it might constitute criminal damage
Not content with this some of the people from the next corridor disappeared out that evening and collected a quantity of cow excrement which they left in a plastic tub outside his door with a spoon in the top :shock: The reference was to his hobby of being a "sh1t stirrer", deliberately provoking various people with rumours to cause ugly scenes between people for his own amusement when he got drunk.
Other good ones were:
Getting a number of people to bounce someone's car at the rear and thus repark it at 90 degrees to the way it had been left
Leaving some old fish in the passenger cabin air scoops of someones car to give the interior a new aroma
(On a rear wheel drive car); jacking the car under the differential just enough so the wheels are just off the ground. When they get in the wheels will just spin and the car will go nowhere. This was done to Ayrton Senna by mechanics at Lotus' Hethel site when he went there to sign up for their F1 team for the 1985 season.
Disclaimer:
I do not condone any of the above as it might constitute criminal damage

his perdictability is his weakness mate
set him up for something you know he'll go for
and have a plan to get him whilst he thinks
he getting you
cold bucket of water on the head
or something to scare the bejeseus outa him
but here's the real trick
when it happens and you get him you cann't say sorry or
anything like that, keep a straight face
and ask him if he's game for another go
then turn and walk away , if he starts talking
pay him no attention..
trust me if you do it right he;ll never mess with you
again...
just a suggestion..............
set him up for something you know he'll go for
and have a plan to get him whilst he thinks
he getting you
cold bucket of water on the head
or something to scare the bejeseus outa him
but here's the real trick
when it happens and you get him you cann't say sorry or
anything like that, keep a straight face
and ask him if he's game for another go
then turn and walk away , if he starts talking
pay him no attention..
trust me if you do it right he;ll never mess with you
again...

This is similar to a problem I had with a 'friend' of mine: His 'jokes' often involving my car.
One time I returned to my car to find he had pasted sheep S**t over the door handles!
Then we were one day all travelling back from the cinema when he thought it would be funny to throw tomatos at my car from another while driving! (he wasnt' driving himdelf)
Luckily no-one I know likes him right now for being such a w*%£*r to everyone over the past few months!
Cheers,
One time I returned to my car to find he had pasted sheep S**t over the door handles!
Then we were one day all travelling back from the cinema when he thought it would be funny to throw tomatos at my car from another while driving! (he wasnt' driving himdelf)
Luckily no-one I know likes him right now for being such a w*%£*r to everyone over the past few months!
Cheers,
Andy M.
- Charlie Bravo
- Concorde
- Posts: 1109
- Joined: 27 Jun 2004, 12:03
- Location: STN/EGSS
One of my personal favourites and used to work every time whilst at college.
Make sure your mate's asleep and obviously in the most masculine manner you can, slip several chocolate buttons delicately and carefully down the crack of his a*se. Then leave them to melt over night.
When he wakes up in the morning the chocolate will have melted into a nice paste and he will think he has s**t himself. Have a camera ready for the facial expression!
Make sure your mate's asleep and obviously in the most masculine manner you can, slip several chocolate buttons delicately and carefully down the crack of his a*se. Then leave them to melt over night.
When he wakes up in the morning the chocolate will have melted into a nice paste and he will think he has s**t himself. Have a camera ready for the facial expression!

